The Shortcomings of Man
As a bisexual, no, let’s be fully inclusive – as a pansexual man – I can certainly appreciate, in love and lust, the model of man.
The form, typically: strong, angular/rounded, vulnerable, emotional in there somewhere and magical to see when exposed and when gentle, the Gentleman – O now that’s a beauty to behold. A man in control, of action and speech, calm and considered – assured is the man we admire and aspire for.
Yet, we see all in the news and behind closed doors – in alleys or stores – a whole different beast.
Now, I do not blame man. In fact, there is a key piece of graffiti written in my novel that says: Don’t Blame Men, Blame Man. The sentiment being, we should be looking past placing blame on the individuals for their actions, and rather towards looking at the model of man that has brought about the harm.
For this to be understood, we have to explore deeply. We have to conjure a picture of society from its framework, that for me, goes right back to our common ancestry (which you will see fictionalised in my work as it unfolds).
So what is this? Well, we are at our core, animals. Crucially, we are distinct (‘Our Being Distinct’ will follow) but I will not fantasise about the spiritual at this point. That aside, we are animals. We have basic needs that must be met, and when they are not met we express ourselves in basic, thoughtless, barbaric ways. As with most animals, we do not have gratuitous immorality in our actions. We behave badly when we are corrupted or exposed to corruption, no doubt, and we are animals and behave as such if we are placed in our most basic mind set – ergo when our basic needs are not being met – or if the system appeals to our basic instincts.
Now then, let us explore this system: The Capitalist Patriarchy.
First, let’s deal with the capitalism part. At its very core, it appeals to our most basic animalistic instinct. It is a system founded in the idea that we are all competitive animals trying our best to selfishly satisfy our needs and the needs of those close to us. It says, planet Earth is finite, we can use our best endeavours to acquire value and therefore power and therefore protection for ourselves, and our offspring (our legacy). To do this, we must beat off the competition in a dog-eat-dog world. A world where those close to money make money and those without money suffer.
Now for the patriarchy part, as is most important for this blog post. This has arisen because we are animals and our societal constructs (constructs beyond those that govern individual and home based relationships) are within the male domain; the domain of the hunter-gatherer, the navigator, the protector.
How then does this play out in modern society? Well, the workplace is still man’s. Look to the gender pay gap at the BBC. The walk between places is still man’s. Ask Sarah Everard. And ultimately, the home is still man’s, or the power within it? Why? Man has freedom and physical dominance. Look to domestic violence statistics, and well, stats on absent fathers v absent mothers.
But, what does all this mean for man and his behaviour? Well it make for a man that is in control by default and a man that has not learnt how to behave when he does not get what he wants. Too often man takes when man should not have taken, sometimes with horrifying consequences.
On the flip side it means, too often man has not been forced to acquire softer interpersonal skills, like, for example, anal sex. Italics.
By extension, sex is man’s domain of course. Therein lies something wonderful. A hole of extreme bilateral pleasure that, if used correctly, should not result in any long-term burden. What a gift. Has man mastered it? Does man understand it? Does man understand his own homosexual desires? Has man learnt how to treat a person such that they are comfortable enough with this sort of invasion of body and mind? Generally – has he f__k.
How does all pan out? It makes for reeking wrecking havoc.
Now, as I suggest, the problems are systemic. I have previously associated my target for deconstruction, that being the use of interest with money, with the Jewish faith’s historical connection with money. This link is unfortunate, and I wish to lay no shame on them. I believe we are where we are because this is how things are meant to be, the natural course of things, and that naturally, change has to come. Let us not forget, we have much to thank of man and capitalism.
Please, a moment for that.
Back to Judaism, I would like to send a nod of respect in their direction. A fundamental pillar of Judaism is that womb-bound people are more holy and should be placed upon a pedestal. In Judaism, man is inferior and should aspire to the spiritual growth of womanhood. Now this, I can get on board with.
To summarise: man is still somehow in control in that we still have this wretched capitalist patriarchy. As a result, man has not needed to do and be better. We can be lazy, and abusive, because ultimately we have the power: we have money and freedom - we can jettison the responsibility of children in a way that women can’t. We are not womb-bound. This and the system makes us more animalistic, more selfish as opposed to altruistic (key tenet). Ultimately, the womb-bound have to behave in certain ways – they have to be careful, not reckless, ordered, not heedless or risk taking (can you see the negative, reinforcing, self-perpetuating loop yet?).
A New Course? With growing equality in the work place etcetera and the growing recognition of man’s shortcomings – we have the opportunity to redress the balance. We can raise up man – improve him – and bring him into the womb – trust him with children. Trust man with children. Trust man with children.
As with anything – when there has been a dispute – where one party has erred in action or inaction and there is a response, a regression, a breakdown, a war – the way forward – the only way forward – is just to simply and blindly forgive and give trust to the person again, particularly when there is not really any alternative.
To move on the feminist movement, I am afraid to say, it is for women to make the first move, by giving trust.
Onwards, that is what we must do – and for that man, we must not let them down.