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Stories of Young Cheddar, The Cedar; Whoopsy Daipsy

Stories of Young Cheddar, The Cedar

Title: Whoopsy Daipsy


Morning broke in the night and

For these four trees it meant

Perhaps

The moon had shone on their bark just right

Or if cloudy

It was that they had knocked their young canopies

Against their Tree neighbours of the Day just gone

The necessary number of times before dawn

So they may be sure to

Wake for their work on time

Should that dratting Moon not show

Perhaps

So the four saplings stirred with crunches and pops

To the dark dark dark

Cold cold cold

Vast vast vast

Home they called The Forest

And the wind’s recorder was

As tuneless and unpleasant as ever

Still calming and familiar

Bleak but

They were

Never The Less

Never. The. Less.

Is what they might be heard chanting

Picking up their spirits

As they trudged the tracks

Nevertheless

Perhaps

Indeed

They were a family of orphans

These four Steward Trees and

They were different from

The Other Trees of The Forest

Their neighbours of the Day just gone

“Par-boiled potatoes”

Shouts Cherry Sour

Naughty They

They

Habitually random in outburst

Like their sister Cherry Wild

Indeed

These were two of the four

All of whom root for the rays

Standing still with the unconscious ones

The Other Trees of The Forest

Ours though

The Steward Trees of The Forest

This of course their sleep

The daytime

On this their ever so

Seemingly

Never ending

Work-Filled

Wanderings

You know

Indeed

You know

Some say

Of our four saplings

They

Steward Trees

Some say

Steward Trees are blessed

But others say cursed

Regardless – you know - these four had their work

Indeed

Perhaps

Never the less

So now then

Under the lights of the sky

The Morning of the Night had broken up to them

And opened up to them anew

Morning

Morning Indeed

First Thing was the first thing to be done

Which was why it was called First Thing

So The Night Opened to Them

First Thing – to eat

For them – as always – the same

For months now

Jaffa Cakes

And they chatted as they were forever doing

“It’s a biscuit”

Insisted Cherry Sour to Their Sibling Cherry Wild

“Erm zzztttt it’s notttt – pyjamas –

I’VE FOLDED MINE!±!±!”

Replied Cherry Wild to Cherry Sour

Who in confusion asked

“Erm…zzzttttt – what’s pyjamas?”

Here Cherry Sour mimicking Cherry Wild’s zzzzzttt tick

Naughty Naughty Cherry Sour

And Chestnut Sweet fielded the question

The twins’ sister

Pyjamas

It’s what the humans wear to bed”

And they’d now lost the thread

Forgetting entirely what they were arguing about until

Cheddar Chimed in

You know I think they must be biscuits

I mean – they are obviously a cake because –

Spongey – err you twit

But I think anything we eat is a biscuit

We say it for something that is

Discrete yet identical

Right?

Reproducible identical

But things that we need like

Paracetamol

Is a biscuit

To me at least

Easy Easy

The Other Trees

Oh Awkward

Shhhhhhhhhh

Reproducible-Identical yes jester but

……we don’t eat the Other Trees now do we?

Do we?

And Chestnut Sweet fields

“You know you really do talk too much don’t you”

Caught

And with that a branch fell from above

The Forest a-la-la

Hitting and knocking Cheddar down

Floored and Seasoned

The Forest wields Karma

Indeed

Show-off

Now

Jaffa Cakes eaten

Indeed

It was then that Mr Badger Merlin Delivered

And the stars were there to appreciate the moment

Though the light not needed by the Steward Trees since

These our four saplings of The Steward Trees

They –

As with all The Steward Trees

They saw the Delivery

Or see completely

All without an eye between them

You see

Indeed

All while going about their duties

Impressive indeed

What is going on here?

No eyes

Perhaps

Indeed

So Mr Badger Merlin had come up

From out of his badger set

To Deliver

But also to cajole cajole this

HIS

Troupe of youths

And he followed them everywhere so he did

Unseen until – until

Until it was time to Deliver

So He

He did

This so

All he’d known

Indeed

Since Mr Badger Merlin had been assigned to them He long ago resigned to the FUTILITY of it all

No flotilla for help

No fruit for soothe

Just coke to drink

He knew there was no stopping IT

So

He gnawed the roots and ushered the Ants and

He took the Duties

He understood the Duties and

He passed them on as he was shown to do

And he followed them everywhere so he did

Unseen until – until

Until it was time to Deliver their Duties

As ever

Every Dusk

Shortly after

First Thing

So I suppose Mr Badger Merlin was

Second Thing – though no one said it of course

He, Mr Badger Merlin

A geriatric jack-in-a-box on Manna

Like the Israelites of Antiquity

Now some Coke import

Cans upon cans of the stuff rattled around him

Upon emergence from his earthy badgery set

Indeed

So cajole cajole he did

As he delivered that night’s

The Parchment of Duties of Eve’ Song that

Cherry Sour so detested

Not the Duties but the means of receiving them

“Voila there you go have a good one – off you pop – allez allez – giddy up”

Said He slurping coke

Grey and black and disgruntled and knowing – Mr Badger Merlin

Gave swipe to Cherry Sour – a custom of the parade like

Coconut Custard Creams with afternoon Tea at Grannies

TOTALLY FLIPPING BONKERS

Indeed

He would cut Them

Our Cherry Sour

He would not fail to lacerate

The poor thing

Cherry Sour as he Delivered the Duties

The Parchment of Duties of Eve’ Song that

Cherry Sour so detested

This dark daily occurrence

A part of Work

Life

But evermore

For Cherry Sour this treatment

Had been ruminating a

Hating of

Mr Badger Merlin

See cuts each time for as long as

Can be remembered

Beyond then even

But

Time to them was abstract

Like how a life-long prisoner can play with it

Indeed

Nevertheless

No wonder the pour little thing detested all this

Cheddar ever the magician of justice

Chimed his glockenspiel

To sound another attempt at tackling

The Thing

A squabble ensued between the four

Led by the elder

The details of which are impossible to gather

Since when these four bicker

Extremely

Words cease

Our Young Cedar, Cheddar

Intelligibly rounds off the axe swinging with:

“Right that’s settled – Cherry Sour I hear you honey but

‘Parently you peewees wont let me – sooooo –

maybe just take it and suck it up cus

there isn’t any changing that Mr Badger Merlin

An am kinda getting fed up of hearing about it

You have your Rum & Raisin don’t you?!”

Cherry Sour nodded

And so

It was agreed Cherry Sour would continue to take

The Parchment of Duties of Eve’ Song

Their Instructions for Work

For that is how it had always been and

Cherry Sour was the only one eating

Or rather

Needing

The eating of the Rum & Raisin Dark Chocolate

They so desperately shouldered

You see

Indeed

So – for that reason alone

And for being a stubborn sticky-bun

They quick-sanded the situ to status quo

You see

And so

But hang on there you birdy-bee

Why did

Exactly

Why did

Why do

They not let Cheddar get the letter?

This, I do wonder

Perhaps

Indeed

Perhaps

Indeed

Onwards

Says Chestnut Sweet

“The air is fresh and I am ready to do this

Are you? Another day

Meetings and First Thing

and Second Things all done now yeah?”

Stretching rhetorically and swaying to the sound of the wind

The recorder

The wind

A tuneless and

An unpleasant sound

It has been mentioned

But nevertheless

Indeed

They left for their work

Duties in hand

A purposeful wander through

The Forest

With no progress on the niggles really though

Perhaps

Indeed

So they moved on

Creeping along the rows

Of stiff trees not blessed

Or was it cursed like them

For they

These four & others

There were others of course

Also unseen as these four are

And their Duties?

All for the humans of The Forest

Who lived in the spaces where a few too many trees had fallen

In houses of brick and thatch

Familiar

But

Indeed

May we please

Now allow

A moment for

Chestnut Sweet

As Our Four Saplings walk

She – Chestnut Sweet is just that

Certainly good or of the light but certainly

A little lemon meringue pie curt incisive sometimes

And what else?

Well

She enjoys a smattering of yoga after

First Thing and after

Second Thing

So to speak

Indeed

Oh she’s wise but not quite like Cheddar

Perhaps

They – Chestnut Sweet

The next in line behind him

The Eldest

The Elder

Our Young Cedar

Indeed

The Second being Chestnut Sweet

And to keep them so – Young Cedar

Gives the reigns to Chestnut Sweet like

You lead

I am leader

Perhaps

Anyway

So for these our young working saplings

Our orphans

By the power of some

Force of The Forest

How distinct

Indeed distinct indeed

And indeed here is another

Distinct matter

At some point since waking up

To their Work

For the first time

They must have decided between them

“We are nevertheless indeed” or a case of

Telling themselves so

Given how much they did so say it

For they were special and had this WORK

To do

Always

Indeed

However – if we may

Let’s turn back briefly to the oddity of our

Young Cedar

Well

Indeed

Perhaps

Cheddar was the one they looked to

Always he remained though

Totally and utterly

Oblivious to it

“Cutlery”

Shouts Cherry Sour

Perhaps

Indeed

So it seems at least

But there’s so much more beyond

The itchy bark faces that make up

Him

Perhaps

Indeed

It wasn’t obvious to Cheddar why or

Why he was the only one to have

A nickname since

Mr Badger Merlin, Young Cedar, Chestnut Sweet

Cherry Wild and Cherry Sour

Were their names as given and

Known as such from when they

Woke up to their Work for the first time

Names

Given by The Mother of The Forest

Perhaps

All recorded

All recorded as the

Wind’s flute sounds tuneless and unpleasant

As you’ve heard

Indeed

But

One moment please

Before my introductions cease

This is important

It should be said too that

In a manner semi-unknowing

These four

Or rather three of the four were shook

Each Morning of the night

Not just by their evening rituals

Or the silver flow of the moon

As mentioned

But

Indeed

It was this body

This

Their

Local Colony of the Mother’s Hips

So they say

So they call it

Perhaps

They – this body

It

A

mezmeration of littlies

Named to them by

Mr Badger Merlin

Indeed

For our young Steward Trees

Are blind to the spectacle

Or so it seems

This

A monstrous illumination

The Forest finds tentacles

Trains of humming sun run all over

Ants

Part of The Legion of the Ants of The Forest

And the job really did seemed very vital

Based on the display of light alone

Indeed

Aside from the

Dawn-time rituals of our four saplings

Or the

Silver flow of the moon

Aside from these wee things

As mentioned

There was also

As I say

This tremendous display of photons

vanishing before Cheddar could ever

rumble alive

Indeed

First Thing

Indeed

And

As mentioned

It would seem to me that these Ants are

Filling up the cup of just

Three of our four saplings

Not Cheddar

Is it that he’s the eldest?

The Elder?

Nearly

Nearly there

Indeed

The truth was

There were few who really knew

What IT meant

Mr Badger Merlin being one but when asked

He would always say the same –

“I do not have the words – it’s not mine to tell”

It was certain that nobody knew what could be done

“It has just always been so

zzztttttt”

Chewed Cherry Wild – in a moment of

Context

Context being that of silence

And the absurd

And the gnawing on her right branch

Oh she did have a tendency to squeak a bit

With excitement

And like her twin

Cherry Wild would say some of the most

Distinctly ripe and random things like

“Pelicans”

One word she would say a lot and

“Pelicans”

There see she just said it

No insanity here

I’m sure of it but

Funny how that can happen sometimes

“Pelicans is a funny word

Also Cherry Wild

You seem to be making that

Zzzzzttttt sound more and more

What does it mean?

Asks Cheddar

“It’s just a habit ok – leave me alone”

Came back Cherry Wild to defend

ALAS

We digress – so yes

These Ants would pour in grains of orange pollen

Carried by

Chain on chain on chain of each

And each

Talking

Communicating

Shuffling – in perfect harmony

Not A Bicker

Not a Biscuit

And they would carry all this bright glowing pollen

Until the Steward Trees were brimming

And the sight was really quite

Remarkable

It has been mentioned

And so a remark would be made

IF

The Forest had paper for itself or

IF

The Forest could remark it would but

So be it that – there is not a Thing

To have eyes to appreciate it

Such are the depths of The Forest

Except

Perchance

An Animal of The Forest

So Blessed

Or so cursed to aide the Steward Trees in their Duties

And one such beast would too need to be awake

Before their time

Perhaps

Perhaps Indeed

Should they wish to see it

Perhaps they might not

Such is this dark dark dark

Cold cold cold

Vast vast vast

Home they call The Forest

Indeed

You can now forget any understanding of this

Phenomenal Phenomenon

All that matters is that this

Bright snaking glow of ants in service is

IT

A performance

IT

A performance of The Forest

For some

For all of the bewildering wilderness of

The Forest

Indeed

And one certainty is that

IT

IT

Keeps Mr Badger Merlin

Forever grumpy

All swipey and hurty

And at this moment

Cheddar seemed still stuck on the subject of

Mr Badger Merlin

“He’s grumpy but –

He has his pop

That cocoa stuff so

Lucky him

All I get is Jaffa Cakes

Be nice wouldn’t it – have that or

Cheddar’s glockenspiel chimes as an alarm this time

Over come

“Oh drat - it’s the 6th of the Month

Cherries and Chestnut

Oh peewees and ice-cream

We’ve our appointment with Javid The Dentist

And I so nearly forgot

Thank you whoever whispered that reminder”

Indeed

And Chestnut Sweet’s xylophone went off

“Oh good one Cheddar

We haven’t even got close to the start of our list yet

Where does it take us?

Oh excellent

Detours galore”

And Cherry Sour’s voice is heard

I am not going without my R&R dark choco

I’ll curse you

I’ll curse you please I don’t want to have to curse you

Let’s go”

And so they marched on in a whizz of the whimsical

Cheddar gone

Ahead

Indeed

His mistake

Pace to set

And now they’re at Javid The Dentist’s

A floating boating thing of

Mainly felled Trees

He is always sure to share with visitors

Particularly Steward Trees

That his home is not made from Steward Trees

Or otherwise that would be High Treason of The Forest

By the power of the laws laid down by The Forest itself

For the Forest knows that Man cannot be trusted

For Man is CIVIL and The Forest

Sees CIVIL

As a cloak for EVIL

And as it happens

Chestnut Sweet

Interrupted their pleasantries with a comment

As welcome as pastries to Javid The Dentist

“Ever noticed how civil and evil both have

the Roman Numeral for 6 in them?

Like the Devil – oh the Devil too you see!”