We all have a Will. Some impress that Will upon others more. Those less impressing/imposing may reflect on circumstance – where perhaps one of a couple has forced a situation – one time too many perhaps and SNAP – the person trying more deliberately to manoeuvre the pair may perhaps be then viewed as manipulative or worse, abusive.
As with anything though, context is paramount. There is abuse if one invades the other person – this can obviously occur through words alone, but also it may be the circumstance that are traumatising – a sudden realisation of something – where something is revealed to you and you realise perhaps the person opposite – who has been manoeuvring the situation – perhaps they have been lying or deceiving in order to get their way. The realisation of this can stay with you – seriously – it seers.
I’m sure many of you can relate to a moment like this in a relationship. Your partner has been lying to you and getting their own way behind your back. Perhaps their whole person becomes a lie to you. Perhaps you believed who they were – got carried away – and perhaps it took the advice of friends to help you to see the reality of a situation – or maybe it was that and your partner’s last act that did it for you. Heartbreak – trauma. Snap. The End.
I was once one such devilish deceiver. I led a lie life because I couldn’t come to terms with my sexuality and my polyamory. The glass and mirrors were shattered in Edinburgh – and so too was a perfect love before the lies. Since then I have resolved to never lie and to be as truthful as possible with people. I have learnt that the truth is often met with denial – the branches of which are fear and jealousy – bleeding anger – bleeding abuse.
Now though – I find myself on a life path of difficulties. Why? Because I have sought this truth – and in return (alongside some promises) – I believe I have been blessed with a connection to Go(d)d that will produce a vast and multi-media piece of work soon to come (in parts) – that I believe will be hugely impactful.
The telling of this to those close to home – and the nature of the story that is immerging has proved impossible for people to believe. So now, all I can do is complete the work and prove those that love me and have shunned me (they are crucifying me) – all I can do now is prove those people wrong by getting it done.
How is this relevant to a Blog on Manipulation?
Well, I have faced it proper. I’ve stood up and seen the devil in the eyes of my accusers – I have suffered at their hands by the trauma of both physical and emotional abuse. I have had my rights taken off me. I have been forced to extreme means to survive (sex work) – and I have been forced through treatment that changed me, it lessened me and was very painful.
Their only grounds/evidence of me being deemed a danger to others was a very small low speed dent in the bonnet of my car while parking – it was an old car. It did render it useless but nevertheless, they weren’t there.
I have done some solo poetic political protests – which I think were the grounds for the second sectioning. They told me I was on a Radical Extremist Register!!!
So the so called “deluded” claim that I am being listened to, for example – is patently reality – or I sure as hell hope so the way things are carrying on.
That’s the other thing – many of my friends giving the character assassinations have not actually physical spent time with me – instead rather choosing to interpret the worse in my artistic social media posts. They want me to stop. They just want socially conforming Sam back.
I am afraid I cannot standby and partake in what is going on!
Why? By the claws of fear, jealousy and denial – those close to me simply could not stomach me trying to do something so big. They could not stomach my grand claims (granted I have become wiser in my understanding and so in my words used since – as a reflection of clearer-aged thought).
The point is – all they had to do was listen to what I was saying and learn about my wider work – and their treatment – forced medication and eventually attempted forced suicide by tactically entrenched deprivation of assets (getting these would have alleviated my concerns re: bills etc) – and to keep me from turning back to sex work. The point is – they are in denial of how they have failed me – and continue to see me as needing help – SAID JUST NOW BY MY EX-FRIEND MARCUS WHO HAS SINCE SLIPPED IN WITH THE THING AND I HAVE LEARNT IS A BONA-FIDE ABUSER-WOLF-IN-SHEEPS-CLOTHING-CUNT.
During this process, I have merely been trying to express myself through my work – while needing to escape the perils of my precarious mental health condition (neaurodivergent in having ADHD and “bipolar” – yuck I hate that term) – aka surviving independently. I have not or do not trying to indoctrinate people or convince them of anything beyond their willingness. I just want to write my work (novel etc) – and let people be the judge. I’m then quite happy to then slip off to the monastic life or whatever – IF WRONG.
Reading a recent blog post on Fetlife by my ex-Partner – you would think I try to hypnotise people in to doing things they do not want to do. This is nonsense in every line – and takes me on to the application of this blog.
But first – let me just point out the irony I have faced. In merely trying to do the aforementioned – I have been the one accused of being emotionally manipulative and even abusive. They fail to see the plain sighted delusion of this response.
I face denial on the face of those that are or get too close – eventually. Why? Because they get scared of what I am doing – they get scared for the person they see and love within that vision they hold of me – and they justify this treatment in order to amputate the thing they see as cancerous – the thing they see as having caused the thing I would describe as “my calling”. For them, this is described as marijuana induced psychosis – so they lay everything on the marijuana – or cannabis as they call it. They then attempt to point to aspects of my responsive behaviour in order to justify seeing the devil within me.
I have been accused of being a psychopath
I have been accused of being a paedophile
I have written a poem on this. A response to the – “no smoke without fire” argument by saying that in some cases, mine included, the fire is actually within the minds of the accusers, pegged to those same emotions (jealousy and fear) that distort reality deceptively in order to fit their – perhaps not so conscious agenda.
ASIDE – this then is where the Spirit comes in. By our ancestral links and even the judgment of their actions by those up higher within the chain of command - in short – judgment will come – because there is a momentary truth to be seen and recorded – no matter how elusive the present moment is – and no matter the lies of those around. The Spirit sees through.
So - we must all remain self-aware and vigilant to our own agendas – for there is knowing – and clear vision. Most though are blind to the self and are also attached to the bad side of the spectrum of guiding angels and demons. They feel things like jealousy and fear – as a deeper rudder.
Ok so back to my present situation again – and the “other” so to speak. They are non-binary and in some circumstances likes to be referred to as “Thing”. They had been the apple of my eye since breaking up with the previously cherish angelic looking ex-girlfriend – that I am still so sorry was subjected to the painful dawn of that sickening revelation of truth. – my lie of a life.
The Story came to me (my Work I refer to), while she tried to stay with me after I retired prematurely from Premiership Rugby (in a huge part to repent for my misgivings; to stay with her). So yes, the person presently concerned – the present “other” – had been the apple of my eye since this previous relationship was realised as set to doom (despite my continued best efforts).
I then found this person, the “Thing” – some four years later. We met on a fetish website – for those (often neurodivergent and insecure people) who choose to have sex and sex play as a part of their lifestyle – a hobby so to speak.
It was everything I had hoped and so much more. The Thing influenced the character in my novel that was this apple (who became non-binary too for example). They helped me explore scenes while in full flow – aiding it and me. Firstly, let me extend a thank you for that, Chicken.
So what went wrong? Well, under the shade of the abuse of a former brief lover of mine known to the Thing – the stage was set with the Thing’s friends. I have written on this – see here previous. These friends will then have scoured my social media and come to their own selfish and jealous conclusions about me – deeply guided by jealousy and fear of my far far superior lyrical ability
and their needing to be artistically attached to the Thing to fulfil their own deluded dreams of stardom (they met at a Mickey Mouse Music Uni).
They, the Thing’s friends also experienced second hand the abuse of the Thing by a previous brief lover of theirs – crucially – met through the same website.
Granted, I’m on there as a Daddy and cut off from family having been sectioned twice (unfairly and unfairly unknown by them). I get it.
Hoooowever – from the off I was treated as if a criminal and a psychopath; someone who enjoys or is even able to harm others. Yes, we met on a Fetish website and yes the Thing seeks out and instructs/permits all manner of pains and grosseties in the pursuit of feeling something.
BUT I took on the thing as my Baby, my “Little” – and I am really NOT a sadist. If I know my lover enjoys something – and they have pleased me or given to me – I can take myself to that place but I do not enjoy it and there are various hard limits to it: SCAT – NO – Blood – NO – REPEATED LASHINGS/INFLICTIONS OF PAIN – NO.
I can do a bit. I can choke a bit maybe – or smack but not much and it’s not a pleasure for me beyond it being a pleasure for them.
The issue I have with the Thing’s friends is that they never tried to get to know me. There was no – “innocent until proven guilty” – there was judgment from the off and manipulative/abusive treatment. They even saw my nice gestures, such as doing the garden or cleaning the kitchen as somehow indicative of culpability.
ASIDE – these people to whom I refer are 8 yearsish my junior.
I used to be bellied by the progressive mind-set of those younger than me. Alongside my experience with the “Thing” – they clearly seriously struggle with self-obsession through physical expression and ownership – and they are weak in the face of opposing views – those often telling to toughen up.
ASIDE FROM ASIDE – my impositions in this regard referred to in their blog post on the Fetish website (the Blogpost) – were such that I objected to their objection that I ask my dear ex-friend Harvey if he wanted anything from the shop, as we left. The important bit to note is that at this point I had no money and so the Thing was buying for us………I am the one out of pocket from our symbiosis.
So may I return to the wider point of this blog on MANipulation. We are currently in a CULTURE WAR BETWEEN THE SEXES AND THOSE INBETWEEN.
Man rightly has a disgustingly soiled reputation by the acts of a great many before me. I carry their guilt despite not being guilty. I have written a poem on this too.
How does this play out? Well it comes in the form of the projection I feel from others, as previously referenced.
How else does it play out? Well, this is the most important part:
In the state of supposed manipulation outlined at the beginning – it is often the more masculine of the two that appears more forceful on the face of things.
HOWEVER – from my experience, and I am sure mankind would back me up on this – we face an incredibly underhand form of abuse from these disgusting and deceptive bedroom submissives. This occurs in almost every hetrosexual relationship from what I have seen – and assumedly in homosexual relationships too. The present context for me was certainly a Queer relationship – as that is what we both identify as. The Thing is submissive, obviously – but certainly no less manipulative.
(again I have written poetry on this) – but the point is as follows:
We are the hunters – they the flowers.
We are all animals wanting animal things – FORCED SEX
In the Kink Community this is openly discussed – see CNC
The Flowers – the Vaginas and bum holes are there for all to see
Come and GET IT YOU DANGEROUS ANIMAL MAN (Sadist I hope)
So they coax you in – encourage the animal within
Often feelings get involved – as do difficult circumstance
Perhaps the deceptions of others (as I found) affect your precious and vulnerable “other” – the flower
So you become viewed as the abuser?
Perhaps communication was ineffective/distracted and somebody was left feeling unloved?
Perhaps they did not get what THEY wanted (not sadist enough AND WANT AN OUT? SCARY BUT NOT IN THE WAY I LIKE?)?
SO WHAT do they do?
The bleet like the little snowflakes they are about reimagined and re-spun happenings that justify their view – their will to leave YOU broken.
Why do they do all this? Well, because of the abuses of man – all of this is Daddy issues playing out. They invite the pain they have known because they have learnt to turn it into a source of pleasure. They also wish to take out the anger at the abuse by the hands and words of their previous masculine/paternal figures – consciously or otherwise – to reaffirm their view – and to punish MAN.
For The ThIng – they are so damanged the toy with being a-romantic or not able to feel love. They never admitted it to me, but you can see it in their eyes in photographs. This is what I am fighting against. Love is the answer and I have so so much for you. Please stop denying us, please. Please stop denying me – you all!
I mean no harm – and no harm to myself if you just love me….seriously.
Also, based on the Thing’s lyrics – and their desperate need to vindictively libel be through the Blogpost – between the two of these things and my personal experience of them and their lot – it is clear they set this whole thing as a trap to both grossly glorify and persecute THE MAN. They are a gifted artist controlled by their subconscious and confused by demonic conscious throughts and confusions. Suicidal – but admitted being less suicidal with me.
I suspect they have been since – and their friends did a good job of worrying me so that I turned up at their family home out of desperation and fear for their life. See how this is spun as stalkerish behaviour/harrassment in the Blogpost. The Manipulation is real.
For the sake of progress on gender inequality – this underhand abusive treatment which too plays out in the mainstream through divorces and childcare arrangements etc – it HAS TO STOP!!!!!! FUCK’S SAKE>
The point is – women/females/bedroom subs will use their flower as a means of procuring what they want – this is POWER too – so is often tied to the corrupt want for financial stability – and then any anchored dominance within the household. Due to the patriarchy too – they are more than happy continue to play out their deluded reason for vengeance abusing their power more by moving on sooner and rubbing in any subsequent financial stability in their ex-s face. They fail to see how they so benefit and exploit the patriarchy that they so deride.
In my situation – THEY would rather deny my love and accept the views of those around them – and opt for sex work – rather than to have afforded us some combined temporary financial stability by the short-term sharing of a bed (which we both constantly long for anyway). Why? This meant standing up to their abusers – their brainwashing friends who never cared to get to know me or spend time with me. They didn’t even spend time with the Thing – no doubt they are galvanised by this GAME the THING is IS playing.
For all this – and my constant will to shine the light of truth and save others from their perils – I fear very deeply for this, the apple of my eye. They are in a tower surrounded by their jealous and protective friends – keeping them in denial about the truth and in fear as to my inclinations or motives.
ALL I WANT IS THE BEST FOR YOU.
DO YOU STILL SELL YOURSELF?
They, as with my family – the other side of this – now call me the manipulative one. I am somehow abusive. Please refer to their Blog and my previous writing to see the obtuseness of their claims.
Re: the stalking – I did not see them or try to see them for a couple of months post our unceremonious separation (of which I remain in denial for the lack of closure and the extent of the poisonous shrouding).
There was drama over worry of them the Thing attempting suicide
After this episode though, I then start to see goading activity on the Thing’s Fetish social media – and that they have a gig coming up. I left a comment to say I was going and clicked attending. This was left without a response. I turn up with gifts and the police are called and it is all very embarrassing for them. I then email.
I find out from the worst of their friends that these are being read and received.
I have asked quite clearly for these games to stop. All they have to do is say our safe word – MANGO – and I get the closure I need – though will still be left feeling sour at the lack of respect given in their refusal to meet me. Why? This is steeped in so so much fear of the love I could give them – and the fear around my present situation – their libel as to me being sectionable and deluded. Sorry Eve, you’re the one chasing a record label that wont pay.
So there we are. I’m sorry for the length and that it might be hard to bear. And as for a pithy finale:
All is symbiosis
All forms seek and abuse power
By lesser and lesser attached sight of truth
The Spirit will have the last word – once you decease and perhaps even to bring it.
It is because of all the unjustness experienced above – and for how our love has been denied and ripped from us – and for the continued vengefulness and evil prolonging of this stage of pain (by no saying MANGO) – and for the fact that the Thing will now be turning to all manner of disgusting acts – lowering their Starborn self – to the Devil’s corruption. SEX WORK, FORCED SEX, PHYSICAL HARM - RECORDINGS.
On this last one – may I propose the greatest abuse to happen in our relationship:
At the direction of the Thing and on the understanding we would receive money for it – I reluctantly agreed to take part in the video recording for one such solicited sordid hunter. I did it to stop worse happening – such as the proposed jet-setting with a much older banker-type businessman stranger, who “didn’t want sex”. He did want to exploit their image.
This is what I objected to when things broke. This is why I was trying to force an alleviation of our situation.
AND WHO DID I TAKE IT OUT ON? :
The real bad abusive paternal figure in their life: Their bully of a step-Dad
that I had the misfortune of being put up with.
Until this kicked off – the Thing’s mother was whole-heartedly approving of me and disapproving of your friend’s treatment of me (and my family’s). The Thing’s Mother got to know me – and then all was revealed to her – and for the sake of fear they all remain in denial. I shouted a lot. I accused him of things. It was a bottle-job. He is a cunt. He judged me for desperately thinking about smoking dog-ends – rather than offering me a loan for cigarettes. I lost it.
I am only here to try to help. See blogpost - A Guide to Awakening for an Atheist and then read it in the context of a doom-filled ex-pro footballer who kind of flopped but thinks he is still somehow a god, like they are.
He thought it, my blogpost – he thought it was a personal attack - all about him and really did not accept my points.
AAAANNYWAY – I feel better for getting that off my chest and thank you for reading all this – if you have in fact got this far.
Peace and Love and Death From Above
We’re all trying our best
All I want is the best
For you – not Thing
Not like da. You have me wrong. MAYBE RE-READ IT!!!!!! And AH YES – back to the title – Manipulation is something we all must try to avoid – and can be guilty of – even if softly softly.
Mathew Dresson’s Blog
Blog referred to and the Thing: Tanith Fang.